


dinner & diatribes

by StrawberryRain



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, F/M, guess who wins, hime's a badass but she's still chirpy af the darling, it's fluffy and they're not dating yet but it's a start bruh that's how all good romances begin xD, tsundere baby vs cheery baby showdown, uryuu's name should clue you in but he's a halfer, we been knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25090369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryRain/pseuds/StrawberryRain
Summary: Ishihime week 2020.Dragons make everything better. And sometimes worse.Uryuu/Orihime and old-timey shenanigans.
Relationships: Inoue Orihime/Ishida Uryuu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8
Collections: IshiHime Week 2020





	dinner & diatribes

**Author's Note:**

> Ishihime week 2020  
> Prompt: fantasy
> 
> ~ 945 words 
> 
> No relation to the Hozier song but I really think the title describes this ficlet best. Hashtag stan Hozier xoxo

She was there to hunt him, but she had laid her sword down and taken off her helmet to see him better.

"You look nothing like I imagined," Orihime confessed, staring wide-eyed at the great winged beast, no— man, no— she didn't quite know what to make of him— _being_ before her. "Are you really a Dragon?" 

_And why was he wearing glasses?_

Uryuu grunted, two little licks of blue fire flickering from his nostrils. He had a nose like a statue of art, thought Orihime. 

"Of course I'm a _Dragon_ ," he answered. The flapping of his wings produced a wind so great Orihime was afraid she'd be blown away, even in her heavy chainmail outfit. Thank goodness she had her shield. "I have wings, a tail, and I breathe fire, don't I?"

He looked at her brilliant orange hair and immediately felt hungry. 

"Yes, but..." 

Uryuu actually huffed this time. "Not enough of a draconine face or body, yeah. I'm not the biggest beast either. I get this a _lot_." 

He decided to scare her a bit. Knight or not, they were all scared of dragons. _Especially knights_ , in fact. “So I'm not like your typical reptilian abomination. Boo hoo, sorry for not living up," he hissed, flapping his wings at the girl again. 

She stood her ground. "Aren't you the rain dragon though—!” she started to say.

He cut her off by dropping heavily before her. She tensed instantly, steeling herself for an attack. _Idiot_ , she thought, _shouldn’t have put the sword down_. _Even if he does have those big baby blue eyes. Ugh._ At least she still had her shield, but how long would it hol—

There was a large thud that rattled her very bones, and so much dust she was blinded and coughing for minutes and minutes. 

But there were no flames or talons. 

Instead, she tentatively opened her eyes to the sight of him all folded up in his wings. Then, curling up, he looked at her most sulkily. "So I don't live up to the name, and I don't look like anything but a half-scaly freak. _Ugh_. _I know_ ," and he rolled himself up out of sight into a wing burrito. "Now go away."

She stared at his peevish form. “I’m just surprised you're so unexpectedly—"she began, glaring at him. Then her gaze softened. "...Pretty," she finished. "Dragons aren't usually so _pretty_."

He fixed one big glassy eye on her and stared out through the gap in his wing-tent. " _P-pretty?!_ "

Orihime gave him an easy smile, putting down her shield and thinking about how he looked kind of adorable like that, all tucked up and peering. 

"Let's see now: you have enormous wings. You have a lean but strong, I assume, body, since you're able to bear your own weight and that of your wings quite well. I'm sure I see two pointy, curling horns too. _Fierce._ You have long shiny black hair and your scaly hands and feet appear to be glittering in the Sun," she counted off. 

Then she, appallingly, walked over to him slowly and pried his wings away from his face. "Hmm..," she murmured, regarding his features carefully, "well, I also think your glasses really suit your face!" 

_Eh?!_

Perhaps she was trying to fool him, Uryuu thought, flattering him so she could get his guard down. Then she would pierce his soft belly and _poof_! He'd be dead. She was watching him with a curious expression he couldn’t quite decipher. 

His stomach suddenly gurgled. 

Embarrassed, he turned his piercing eyes away. He heard a tinkling sound, like water in a crystal glass. He had many crystal glasses in his treasure trove. He used those to drink—  
 _Wait_ , he realised, _it was her_! 

She was laughing. 

He wanted to glare at her again. Was she a threat? She wasn't holding her sword. Or anything, really. Except her stomach, even as his own continued to growl and thunder in increasingly embarrassing ways. 

When she was done laughing, she smiled at him and exclaimed, quite chirpily, “you must be hungry!” 

_Yes ma’am, no kidding_ , he thought. 

She tinkered around in the little bag that hung around her armoured waist. “Here, I have some venison from earlier, I cooked it over a fire with berries,” she offered, “try it.”

_Berry sauce and deer? Yuck_ , he thought, but made no comment. She was still looking at him with that same doe gaze. Maybe she was just weird. 

_What if she’d poisoned it?_

"Boo!" he hissed, his nostrils flaring, his poison-tipped tail rising up to her face, feeling quite sure she'd feel threatened and would leave him alone. 

The girl blinked once as his tail drew nearer to her. She kept down her bundle of food. Then, she caught it gingerly in her own gauntleted palms, and giggled, "aww, cute!”

_Ehh?!_

The dragon, much to his own consternation, blushed. "Tch. Whatever," he replied, his glasses suddenly foggy. "I only wear these because dragons have bad eyesight, okay? They read a lot." 

"I see," she said simply, and shook his tail as if it were his hand. "Nice to meet you, dragon- _kun_. Will you try some of my venison? It’s not poisoned, I promise!”

She looked cute, she had that brilliant orange hair, she was offering him a (hopefully non-poisonous) meal and she was currently holding his (positively poisonous) tail to her rosy cheek. 

“The name’s Uryuu,” he grumbled, snatching the bundle from her bag. He tore into it and tasted a piece hungrily. It tasted… _pretty incredible actually,_ he thought. _Gourmet_. 

“Well?” She enquired. “It’s good, right? Gimme a piece please!”

He nodded. Maybe he wouldn't eat her. 


End file.
